The Juggling Queen

She was young and soft-hearted like a flower. A sharp angry look could easily put her face to gloom. She was the princess at her abode. Often, she used to disappear into her own little world. She had a habit of day dreaming with her favourite playlists On. She loved grooming herself looking at the mirror. Some days she picked a vibrant nail colour out of her cosmetic shelf and painted her long beautiful nails. Her food menu was just a call away. The small kitchen table welcomed her with meals that she loved the most. She was up-to-date about the latest movies screened at the theatres. She loved her little local library where she would leisurely find her picks. At the parties, she flaunted her long luscious tresses.

A few years later…

At her new abode, the flower is busy juggling. She has become the master decision maker. She could not afford to be soft anymore. She has transformed herself from a flower to a tree trunk. She wakes up early with child alarms and face kicks. Not only did she become an expert cook, but she also learnt to bake. She is aware that cleaning the house is a never ending process. Her soft fingers had knife cuts & bandaids. The luscious hair ended up looking messy, the fashion clothes had stains of different colors. She was always the hot coffee machine, but seldom got to drink her coffee hot. She has become a better driver, thanks to the grocery shopping sprees and play dates. At night, she tried to recollect her favorite bedtime stories. She has now become an expert at juggling. She secretly wore her duties & accomplishments like sequences on her gown. The princess has become the Queen.

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What Really Matters

What do I mean to the world around me? What impact would I make living in planet earth? What makes me different from others? Ever had these moments of deliberation?

Quite often while I’m busy with the daily chores or travelling to work, I contemplate on these lines. Everyday we try to abide by the rules of relationships. At home we become the care takers and at work we are the robots programmed to do tasks which are aligned to our roles. Although we have no clue where we are heading to, the ride just goes on like it’s insane. Yes we go in Circles. We come back and sleep to repeat it the next day. I hear people grumbling about trivial matters that can actually be overlooked. They have a set of things that they do everyday and cannot imagine pressing the pause button. They think in loops and complicate simple things in life forgetting to explore the sunny side of life.

So, when you really feel you are loosing track of the bottom-line, just take a break and go to a nearby park. Sit back & breathe, revel in the glory of nature. Try smiling at a stranger and see how you feel about it. You don’t have to travel miles to take a vacation. You can have your small vacations everyday by taking time off your routine. Explore a new coffee shop or library and treat yourself with something you love.

Instead of devoting your energy towards things that you cannot change, look around for things that can enrich you & bring back the cheer. So, it is okay if you don’t clean your house for a day or ignore the dishes that has piled up. If your maid didn’t turn up one day just take it easy, you always have a plan B. Don’t freak out if your kid spilled some milk on the bed, it is okay because even you would have done this too. It is crucial that you shouldn’t let frustrations take charge especially when you have children around. They learn & absorb the little things quickly. Pass on good vibes to them & set no limits for expressing your love.

Why don’t you choose contentment and happiness over petty things that can’t make good memories? Make time for your family but make sure that you also give time for yourself to think deep. Count your blessings and savour the treats that life has already given you! Look back and see what you’ve missed, chase your crazy dreams.

Raining Dreams

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Lashing rains, the Good Vibe of the day

Dark clouds lingered above,

yet the moon & a pair of stars unveiled

The feel of damp air, a summer surprise

Hazy flickering lights loomed across the sky

I whispered goodbyes to the unknown

A silly wish sprouted to fly away with them

Not a new  thing.. I dream, secretly

A tree was in bloom not far away

Sweet fragnance of Champak it was

Sleep breezed in.. Bliss!

Not a new thing..the dreams,

I flew away

Know your worth Ladies

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Hey friends,

My articles are usually women-centered because I feel that a woman’s life is a melange of diverse incidents, emotions, roles & changes, which brings about new topics to discuss almost everyday. The focus of this blog is about knowing the real worth of a woman. Now there are two parts to this – 1. a woman analyzing herself 2. society analyzing a woman. We will first introspect more about point 1 and later come to point 2.

Point 1: Many women have no clue what their real worth is! Women start their lives being daughters to their parents, then move on to become sisters, aunts, wives, mothers and grandmothers. As life progresses, they take up new responsibilities, change homes, evolve to become so-called mature individuals. The reality is that many of them assume themselves to have attained maturity, but are still a lot immature in their minds.  I’ve noticed that many parents don’t encourage the daughters to become independent. At a later stage, when the lady is left alone facing a critical issue in life, she feels like a weakling. I think beginning from childhood, girls should be given chances to tackle their own issues whenever possible. They should be able to realize that they are capable individuals and not dependent beings. This realization will help them build solid confidence moving forward.

On a similar context, there are a lot of women who go beyond their limits trying to win over the guys they have chosen. Sometimes they change themselves so much that they loose their own identity. However isn’t it true if I say, sensible men are only looking out for women who stick to their own true self. Why all this drama? Be yourself, you will find your man when its the right time without the need for any masquerades. If a man is attracted to a lady beyond the physical, then he will surely find ways to hold on, no matter what. And if you don’t find that someone, maybe its better you live single in your own good standards than settling in for less.

Now coming to point 2. Although many women believe that they are smart & capable, there are moments when they all breakdown emotionally while trying to cope up with situations around. Yes situations do affect women a lot. Many a times they tend to analyze their own worth by measuring the duties they perform, just as it is expected from the society. For example, a married woman is expected to perform the routine duties that includes cooking, child care, cleaning and so on. If the woman breaks free from this invisible cage of duties she is stamped irresponsible and selfish. In such cases, the woman herself feel that she is not of much value. So most often, a woman is being valued by her contributions to the family, but nothing else. If she steps out to make a difference in the system, then she is considered over smart. If she is not able to give birth to a child, she is made to feel ‘useless’. Are all women the same? If every woman is expected to be a carbon copy of the other, then why do they get educated at all?  I’v heard certain families demand that, the prospective bride should be well educated, but however she shouldn’t be highly career oriented. Well, ladies its your choice. Often many of you just keep all these feelings to yourselves and move on, hoping that someday things will get better. Apparently, things will not get any better unless you do something to come out of the negative zone.

Every woman should understand that, you are much more than dutiful wives, mothers to  children, caretakers for your folks, etc. You are yourself first and everything-else comes only after that. You are capable of something which others are not. Find your uniqueness, cherish it, share it with those who are true to you. Love yourself, be your own celebrity. Spend time with yourself, analyse yourself every day. If you think you need to get rid of a bad quality in you, work towards it. Ultimately, by knowing your true ‘worth’ you will not only learn to ‘move forward’ but will also learn to ‘let go’ of what you don’t really deserve.

Cheers.

Offerings to God

 

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I’m sure a topic about God or religion is always going to invite controversies. Nowadays, due to the involvement of political parties in religious activities people hesitate to speak their minds. However, the internet has helped quite a lot on this account because it gives a virtual platform where one can share their views/thoughts without fear. Today, my mind led me to talk about ‘religious offerings’. This is purely based on my own beliefs.
Born in a religious Hindu family, I grew up visiting family temples regularly and watching elders doing daily pooja ceremonies. The Goddess we worship in the family temple is like our own mother, having superior powers. An yearly festival is conducted in the temple when all the family members are united. Everyone takes part in the rituals and enjoys the togetherness. This event gives the family a chance to renew the bonds.

Over the time, people started moving to far away places, settling down abroad with their nuclear families. Some of them flew down to attend the festivals and get togethers, some others did not return. Gradually the daily number of visitors in the temple dropped. The temple became more of a responsibility for the family members, the question of who will pay for the expenses came into picture. Subsequently, the system called ‘offerings’ developed. Every member is expected to contribute to the temple in some way, either Pay in cash or donate to the beautification of temple structure or give offerings to the deity. Offerings can be of many types – flowers, oil, camphor and so on. In India, every temple have their own list of offerings for the deity, the rates vary according to the popularity of the temple.

Coming to think of it, back in those days women plucked flowers from their own gardens, made a garland themselves to adorn the deity because they respected the Goddess and wanted to make her look superior to them. Then they made sweet dishes themselves which are called ‘Nivedya’ for the deity, later it was shared to all in the family as ‘Prasad’.

Ironically, things have taken a great twist today as we pay money for anything and everything related to God. There is no temple without money. It has become a business hub more than a place of worship. We goto temples to find peace, but we believe we will get that only if we buy offerings.Why these offerings? – to fulfil wishes. What wishes? – mostly material things.

The basis of giving offerings to God so that we get a good job or to build a new house is purely psychological. Why do children follow this path when their exams are near?- because they had been taught that way…they see elders doing the same. If we believe in ourselves and the God residing within us, we will achieve what we are capable of achieving. What we couldn’t, is simply not meant for us.

The already existing systems cannot be changed in a day or two, but some baby steps can help change the perceptions. Now, will you please think twice before you pour a litre of milk over an idol? Will you rather give away the fruits to the poor than keep it infront of a deity who cannot eat them in real?

I would love to see your comments. Thanks for reading my blog!